>MENTAL HEALTH & WELL-BEING > MALE DEPRESSION
A 'Male' Kind of Depression?
Not everyone has the same experience of depression. Researchers are now realizing that there is another form of depression they call 'male depression', which while looking different on the outside, has the same core problem. Often when people feel hurt or upset, they shutdown and turn inward - withdrawing from others, lacking energy and enthusiasm for life. But a different response is now being recognized, where people ignore how they feel, and eventually start showing warning signs through bad behavior. When people 'act out', for example by attention seeking, thrill seeking, being angry etc, it could be just their way of coping with the pain they feel inside.
In many cultures, to be depressed is seen as socially undesirable or even unacceptable. For example, people may not be as keen to spend time with you, or be your partner, if you are 'depressed'. Many people try to cover up or ignore their feelings - especially with others - to avoid being a depressed person. Males in particular commonly do this and also occasionally act out. But because it is not classified as 'depression', there hasn't really been much recognition of the problem. If you are someone who is acting out a lot, attention seeking, or doing extreme things, it might be because you are battling with some bigger issues on the inside.
Surprisingly, so-called 'male depression' also occurs quite a lot in females. This is where the term 'male depression' is misleading, because it's more about what sort of person you are, and not what gender you are. It is thought that it has got a lot more to do with how we deal with emotions, than whether we are male or female. Those people who prefer to process their emotions by thinking about where they are going wrong and talking things through with others, tend towards 'classical' depression (low mood etc). But those who try and avoid thinking about things which upset them, 'soldier on', and 'keep their chin up', tend towards the 'male' version of depression (if the problem persists). This is sometimes also called 'masked depression', because in a sense it happens when we mask what we are feeling and don't let people (and sometimes ourselves) know we are depressed.
Core Emotions
Psychologists think that what might be happening is that both depression and 'male depression' are different responses or coping strategies for the same core emotions. These core emotions can also often be traced back to an event, or 'fundamental flaw' that the person perceives in themselves. This 'trigger' might be from a relationship breakup for example, where the person has been hurt or mistreated. The result is a particular group of emotions which characteristically lead to depression:
These feelings are strong, and life can be hard for people struggling with them. For many people it makes them very sad if they start to believe that there is no hope, or that they aren't valuable, or that they can't make a difference, for example.
If you have these feelings, don't be ashamed. Many people struggle with them, and it is more common that you might think. Chances are that some of the people that you know might be feeling the same way, and be 'masking' those same feelings.
- The feeling of Worthlessness "I'm not good" "No one loves me" "Everyone's forgotten me"
- The feeling of Helplessness "I can't change it" "Life's too hard" "It's all too much" "What can I do?"
- The feeling of Hopelessness "Things are never going to change" "It's all over" "I'm never going to be happy"
These feelings are strong, and life can be hard for people struggling with them. For many people it makes them very sad if they start to believe that there is no hope, or that they aren't valuable, or that they can't make a difference, for example.
If you have these feelings, don't be ashamed. Many people struggle with them, and it is more common that you might think. Chances are that some of the people that you know might be feeling the same way, and be 'masking' those same feelings.
Changing the Thought Process
These emotions seem to build up over time, yet we do have some control over that process. The theory is that people are unhappy because of a poor self esteem (Worthlessness), a negative interpretation of life events (leading to a sense of Helplessness), and poor view of the future (Hopelessness). One way that psychologists combat depression is that they target these emotions specifically and build a defense against them.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is designed to get you thinking more clearly and objectively about yourself, the world and the future. The problem is that these emotions can be so overwhelming that it tends to cloud our judgment, or become like a dirty lens through which we see the world. A big part of it is simply becoming aware that a lot of what goes into our minds simply isn't true. Once we start critiquing those thoughts we can see that the would isn't as bad as we sometimes feel it is.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is designed to get you thinking more clearly and objectively about yourself, the world and the future. The problem is that these emotions can be so overwhelming that it tends to cloud our judgment, or become like a dirty lens through which we see the world. A big part of it is simply becoming aware that a lot of what goes into our minds simply isn't true. Once we start critiquing those thoughts we can see that the would isn't as bad as we sometimes feel it is.
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